Day One

I love to make things.

I do, I love to make clothes. I love to knit hats, scarves, blankets, sweaters, you name it there's a good possibility I've knit it.

This love affair with creating things goes back to the days when my mother used to do costumes for a local theater company. I blame it all on the movie "Shakespeare in Love" which was almost always on when she was sewing. It was the first costume drama I saw when I was a kid, I'm pretty sure I watched it till I wore out the VHS tape. The second Lady Viola hit the screen in that fabulous gown she wears during the party scene where she meets Shakespeare for the first time I was hooked. From then on I was drawing Elizabethan Renaissance looking dresses everywhere, the inside of my paper book covers that covered my text books, bits of computer paper, sketch books, whatever I could get my hands on. Around the same time my mom would take me and my sister to the Renaissance faire in Northern California, and we would dress up in bodices and skirts and roam the seemingly endless grounds and have a ball. (Respect the nerd cred people!)

But eventually, as all teenagers do, I started to think it was lame, mostly do to some even lamer judgmental people. Between that and the fact that as my sister and I got older weekends became consumed with homework and other outside activities, and the fact that the economy took a swan dive, tickets and gas to a Ren faire just wasn't an option. Fortunately as that left my life, theater found it's way in. At first it was performing which I loved, but it was also for the costumes which I still loved. Inevitably I found myself organizing the stock room during rehearsals when I had a long break. I even occasionally organized while wearing one of the fabulous little fur stoles that every stock room seems to have.

I went to college and studied, you guessed it, performance and design. After a year performance faded away to Costume design and Construction. And for two solid years (and a little extra at the end of my freshman year) I devoted myself to becoming a Designer and Technician. And after hard work at the end of two long tumultuous years I was...2 years older.

That's not to say I didn't learn when I was there, I did. I learned a lot about myself, people, relationships, and the craft that I love with all my heart. But it became obvious to me that we were no longer on the same page in terms of what they hoped I'd achieve and become. I think it's a simple as saying that there are as many different philosophies on life and design as there are people on the planet, and while you find something that may work for you, it won't work for someone else. I left at the end of my junior year, feeling a little bruised and came home to California. I tried to figure out where I wanted to go, if I wanted to stay in theater, designing, fashion, you name it I probably considered it for a career or school (this list included pastry chef and mail man, in addition to applying for and getting in to 2 different fashion schools in Northern California). For two months I wallowed, simmered, stewed, was angry and bitter, and down right grumpy.

But then a funny thing happened, I heard about a theater that was attached to the local community community college and that they needed volunteers. One October morning I showed up with my portfolio and samples of my work. 8 months later I left. And I am forever grateful for their hospitality. What this shop full of amazing women did for me wasn't just teaching me and filling in the gaps in my knowledge base or making me feel like I was part of a team, they helped restore me as an artist. How do you thank someone for that? "By going out and finding your niche and being successful in your life," my boss told me. I was fortunate to find them when I did, and my gratitude is beyond expression.

So where does that leave us?

Well I left them in May when the season was over, now I'm back in my home town. I've designed and built 2 shows, and have the next 2 lined up. And for the moment at least it looks like I'm sticking around here for awhile. While I'm not immediately thrilled by that prospect I know it's where I need to be and what I need to do (especially till I start driving). In the meantime I have a roof over my head, clothes on my back, food in my fridge, a work space (that used to be my grandmother's dining room), a brand new sewing machine, and a DVD of Shakespeare in Love. Life could be worse :)